Baby Carrots

by Rat Hammer

supported by
Mike Petruccelli
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Mike Petruccelli The type of energy that this band makes is rare as hell, this album is so crucial. Favorite track: Don't Care.
Tonari No Seinfeld
Tonari No Seinfeld thumbnail
Tonari No Seinfeld These degenerates deliver the goods! Baby Carrots is an unhinged rip-roarin good fuckin time. Favorite track: Don't Care.
Katie Yankowski
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    9 songs from this digital release on a 7" record in a random color. Comes with full digital download

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Don't Care 01:51
I don't fucking care So take my job and move away Closing more schools everyday and putting poison in the water Until we come out with mangled daughters Hair-lip faces and diseases that we'll never fucking cure But I don't fucking care Chemical bombs and nuclear waste Take the lives we can't replace and we all go on with our days Like selfish children with no compassion I guess I'm kind of apathetic It's pathetic of me
Is everybody sleeping or all we all just dumb It all seems so fake Believe it Is anybody listening, this shit's so fucked up It all seems so fake These are third world problems but no one will solve them The wealth don't care about your health Don't take the pills they tell you, they're trying to buy and sell you Doctors distributing disease
When We Die 01:43
When we die will our mothers cry or will the grief get to their eyes before their hearts are cracked inside and squeeze out their last sighs If I could just fade away I would have been dead yesterday Sometimes it's too much to face a life I can't replace I'm going down I'm being boiled alive inside my skull every night When i try to rest my head its like my thoughts all hate themselves So I pretend I'm somewhere else or someone in a different crowd Where the voices don't all scream so loud and I can get some help I tried I swear. I'm sure there's something better I could do or say But my chest is just an empty rind, scraped out fucking crazy
Friends 01:46
I'd be nothing alone if I didn't have all you fuckers there to lean on I'm broke and I'm dumb and I'm usually wrong but when we rock together I'm ten people strong I'd be nothing alone if I didn't have all you faggots there to lean on I'm broke and I'm dumb and my breath smells like cum but when we rock together I'm 10 inches long No money, No car, Nobody knows who we are No hope, No way, but I'd throw down for you any day You're all that I need and a big bag of weed You're all that I know Let's go shoot some blow Don't need new clothes Cuz I got all of my bros
Whiskey 01:51
Show up at your place, pour it in my face Wake up on the floor again Forgot what I think, puking in your sink Whiskeys the bottle I drink Vomit tastes much sweeter when you're near darling And I can't be alone again, so let's drink I'm not in my home, I can't find my phone I know that I'll end up alone I'll bullshit a grin while your living room spins Whiskey you're my only friend I'm tired of thinking that I hate myself and I got no money and I'm alone. I'm drowning my sorrows, that's why I drink
Liar 00:45
Drown me in your shit, I'll take anything You're my everything, I'm your scum I won't tell anyone why you're leaving Lie to me Liar
Six Shooter 01:07
"Four more dead including the gunman" In a California shooting spree Gotta homicidal maniac blowing holes pouring blood in the street In NYC they got a "cannibal cop" Says you taste "kinda like pig meat" Chiraqi war veterans pushin rocks on the corner with a killin machine and you can take my guns when you pry them from my cold dead hands Live and die by the sword, because I'm a man You're only killin' each other Cuz God told me to You're only killin' your brothers God told me to You're only fillin' them prisons We need less brown children We're some fucked up germs 30,000 more dead kids piled in body bags every year A sly FOX fills us with shit and operates us out of fear It only takes a second to end another human life Taking you off this planet, too late to ask why Bang bang you're dead
Hulky 01:29
Once he was a man but now he's shriveled and lonely Steroids and vodka's in his morning eggs His crys for help will only go un-noticed Because we all think he's such a fucking fake But I can't help but rubberneck at super-human Down on his knees begging for your tips At least he never lost that sense of humor or those little man-tits Fat and lazy lonely little baby, little cry baby Squeal piggy, dirty little piggy, squeal for me Once he was a god in the American Dream He lost his mind in reality TV now he's begging for your attention Poundin a prosty on your telescreen "You're goin' down brother"
Addict 01:36
Aren't we some lonely souls Got lost in rock n roll and shit spun out of control Let me give you my advise Find yourself a friendly vice The only way to get through life Addict for life I lost control Scratchin' off my skin, I gotta get my fix, turn another trick Once you get that little taste Consider your whole life a waste Death droops across your face Crush it up and stick it in Bleed it out and start to sink Shoot it up till you can't think Sorry to all of my family and friends
Drip 02:33
You're just a dirty little thing and now you're licking your teeth She's dripping wet and now I'm on my knees I'm begging and all the people will pray to you You're just a dirty little tease spreading around social disease You're lying right fucking now baby give it to me Oh what a waste of a beautiful face Wasting away more everyday Because you know you're just a pretty skank Give it up and give it all away Girl tell me all your fantasies, I'll do exactly as you please You can make me your slave mama give it to me The future creeps up more each day And oh what a waste of a beautiful face Rot in hell you empty cells Reminds me of unwanted love fill those holes you empty soul Drowning in my scum
Ocean blue hair dyed like the sea She smells like a sailor but she always a woman to me I can feel your waves radiating, crab tattoos on her knees Watching the ten she's hangin', Swim into me Punk rock surf babe, riding the waves Holes in her face, washing away Ride on the waves, ride on my face Sun-baked skin slimes salty, but she's so sweet Slurrin' like a stoned Spiccoli, pussy tastes like an ocean breeze Never met a hardcore mermaid and it makes me weak Lemme lick your gills now darlin', Swim into me
Skin 02:12
That night I met you sitting under the bridge You said you wanna know what real food is I wanna take you home and feed you discount macaroni I wanna take you home and co-sign your loan Come home with me and I can set you free And I don't care if you got fucked up teeth Doesnt seem to mean a thing to me as long as you're coming home to sleep on my pillow darling And we'll never get old or fat or dumb, because we'll die when we're 31
TV 03:25
While I'm asleep it tickles my eyelids Massages my brain with it's gentle x-rays And all of my dreams, it's like I never left Things people say that I'll never understand You've always been there for me TV And while you dream she sighs of sex pills and caffeine Because you're incomplete and it isn't ok But trust me, I've got just what you need Because everyone hates your stupid man face You worthless machine I don't ever wanna go back
The victim was found dead on the ground by Stabler and Benson in the park With semen in his throat and blood on his coat Nobody knew where to start Forensics decided the killer was excited as he bashed his head in with a rock Special Victims Benson Stabler Munch Finn The suspect was collard, "My Lawyer!" he hollered I know my fuckin rights Council was given no sins were forgiven the suspect must pay for his crimes Objection! Over ruled! The jury declared that he was impaired They sent him away for his life A killers off the streets Justice escapes defeat The city sleeps safely tonight Let this be a warning there will be no warning For those who commit felonies When you mess with the system You will be the victim Of stabler and the NYPD DICK WOLF


This is our debut album. We're dirty people

Rat Hammer is:
Johnny on vocals
Aaron on guitar and bass
Jeff on vocals, guitar and bass
Ian on drums


released October 20, 2014

All songs written by Rat Hammer
Recorded by Seth Engel and Johnny
Mixed by Johnny at The Flowershop
Digital master by Greg from Yeesh
Vinyl master by Will at Dead Air Studios
Pressed by Palomino Records

THANKS TO: Matt for the vocal mic; Coaster, Nervous Passenger, Evasive Backflip, Absolutely Not; the posse of pals who followed us home after a show to record gang vocals; Law and Disorder for their heinous criminal activities; and to all the homies for filling the Flowershop with love and music and happiness.

Finally, thanks to anyone who has been disturbed by the bizarre human behavior documented in this album. You've helped us retain a shred of human dignity in this era of moral recession, and we're slightly less depraved than we otherwise would be.



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Chicago rock'n'roll

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